For All The Single Moms - with Special Guest, Erica

Every evening Erica picks her daughter up from school, heads home and begins the whirlwind dance of helping solve homework problems, making a healthy meal, juggling the aftermath of client calls and paperwork from the days work, all while trying to hold a conversation with her daughter about what happened at school that day.

Did I mention Erica is a single mother?

“The stress is overwhelming, and I often feel like I just can’t manage it all,” says the sales executive mom. She takes a momentary reprieve in the garage of the new home she built, takes a few puffs from the joint she rolled for herself, and takes a deep breath.

Motherhood is challenging, and ten-fold for the moms who do it alone. “The most challenging aspects of motherhood for me, is being everything to my daughter. I am her mom, her dad, her guardian, her friend, her teacher. I must be the good cop, the bad cop…I must do it all by myself. I don’t get to hand off the duties because I’m tired. It never stops, it never f’ing stops.” Erica also mentioned the anxiousness that many mothers identify with, whether we’re doing it right or not. Mothers tend to worry every step of the way if they did too much of something or did not do enough of something else. Did I tell my child I love them enough today, was I too harsh, did I listen enough? It’s a wonder we aren’t all in a psych ward with heavy sedation. “All I want to do is enjoy her, but I’m wound so tight from the day that I can’t. Cannabis shaves off the worry, anxiety and stress for me.”

As legalization of marijuana spreads from state to state, more Americans are beginning to accept the drug, but that acceptance isn’t always extended to parents. Erica explains that she uses cannabis for medical and recreational purposes, but she often faces the judgement due to misconceptions and stereotypes. “The person passing judgement on me and other mothers who use cannabis, don’t realize how it helps from a medical perspective. I personally suffer from anxiety that I deal with daily. My anxiety causes me to worry, overthink, and get caught up in my emotions at an unhealthy level. My anxiety makes me feel like the walls are caving in at times.” Erica explains that cannabis helps the stress go away, the emotion goes away, and she’s able to connect with her left brain to focus and be present. Like the mom who pours herself a glass of wine when she gets home from work, although we don’t pass as much judgment on the pinot grigio mom. “Smoking for me is like the mom who pours a glass of wine, puts her feet up and takes her bra off, I deserve to unwind too, I just do it with cannabis.” Erica explains that she isn’t hurting anyone, she doesn’t do it in front of her daughter, and she is responsible with keeping it out of reach…which is more than the pinot mom can say at times, so let’s cork the judgement.

Motherhood is one of life’s greatest blessings, and I’m sure we can all agree that it comes with its own set of challenges. Being the best version of ourselves as a mother means that we have to identify those moments when we begin to crack and take time to recharge. We’re all fighting a battle, we all need support, and we all need gestures of kindness and understanding. My hat is off to all moms, but especially the single moms. I truly do not know how you do it. In life our greatest weakness is often our greatest strength. Erica mentioned that her greatest challenge as a single mother is being everything to her daughter, but I can only presume that Erica’s greatest reward, is that she is everything to her daughter.

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